


That's Some Plot Armor

by Notaverygoodwriterhonestly



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-18
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:08:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 14,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24248569
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Notaverygoodwriterhonestly/pseuds/Notaverygoodwriterhonestly
Summary: Muteki the Invincible- this is a story about how she earns that title.HEADS UP: This story is a borderline parody with some plot.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 26





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> THIS IS A GLORIFIED PARODY WITH A TOUCH OF PLOT.
> 
> There is cussing-
> 
> there will be sexual innuendos-
> 
> And well- about anything really. This is where I want to kind of go crazy and write something ridiculous. 
> 
> An OC centered story! Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 1.

The forest is peaceful today. Merchant Muteki enjoyed the feeling of the sun’s rays diving deep into her bones, and with a new wad of money in her pocket she is content. It couldn’t get much better really. For one, the weather has been amazing. And for two, she has finished delivering her package. One that her customer insisted she bring herself. Seriously, shinobi when it comes to their toys… Anyways- her goal was accomplished without any interference and her client is beyond happy with their purchase. Seriously, it really couldn’t get better and Muteki knew it. Not only did she know it, she was basking in it. These moments are what she lives for, and she wanted to enjoy it to the fullest.

‘What should I do? Can really use a bath- I smell awful and the hotel has a great hot spring! I wonder if they have some hot pot at the hotel, too? Mmmmm, hotpot really sounds good right now… but bath first. I shouldn’t continue walking around like this. There is only so much rivers can clean. It’s going to feel so good getting this grime off.’ She sighed to herself. She didn’t want this feeling to ever end. So, you can guess that she is definitely not in the mood to get mugged-

But apparently a moron had different plans.

“Stop right there, you have to pay a tax before passing.” Muteki looked towards the male’s voice and found a grungy looking guy standing in the path. Clearly armed with a katana sitting proudly at his side. Muteki quickly dissected the blade within her mind. Analyzing it in its entirety- and she quickly concluded that the blade… is total shit. One that no self-respecting village shinobi should ever carry. 

“…’Kay. Clearly you don’t work for the five nations. I don’t see a headband either… so not a shinobi then eh? Do you at least work for the town?” He addressed her questions with a glare. 

“It’s a tax that I impose- But don’t worry ‘sweetheart’, it’s only 1,000 Ryo.” (A/N about ten dollars.)

“It’s 1,000 I can use to buy hot pot… and to be frank, hot pot is a much more worthy investment.” The man grimaced and pulled out his disgustingly-off-balanced sword. She couldn’t believe he was going to try to use that glorified metal rod. That thing had to be uncomfortable to use... 

“You can either hand me the 1,000. Or I take every coin I can find off your corpse. How is that for a ‘worthy investment’?” Muteki slowly shook her head with a blasé attitude toward the whole situation.

“If you attack, you’ll lose. I’m going on my merry way no matter what you do. Between the two of us and the trees, I’d save myself from the embarrassment and just turn around. Because trust me when I say this. It will be an embarrassing defeat. One I’d rather not waste my time on. C’mon, no one will know- Just try again with the next traveler and it’ll be like this never happened.” The guy is blatantly offended by her statement. His face heated up and his brows met in an angry scowl.

“You arrogant bitch! Fine. Death it is!” He raised his katana before charging towards Muteki. Yet the woman didn’t move a single muscle. She didn’t even have the decency to appear shocked. Because for her, this is normal. She knew what was going to happen- she doesn’t have to lift a finger. This battle will fight itself. It happens every time. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME…. And today will be no different.

First the robber took a misstep and tripped over his own sandal. 

“-Shit!” The man ate dirt. He flushed in humiliation but rolled right back into his attack- refusing to stall. He continued running towards her and still she held that damn blank face. No fear. No anger. Nothing except for the slight tension in her mouth. She is annoyed because what she didn’t mention is how humiliating this always was for herself.

“I said it will be embarrassing damn it! Stop while you’re ahead!” The man ignored her and went for a huge swing. The katana he wielded hurtling towards her scalp in what appeared to be a killing blow. The only strike he would need to end her life here and now. Her death will be painless, and this fact would be his only regret-

A crack rang out through the woods. It was loud, echoing back several times before fading off. Yet it wasn’t from his sword making its mark- no. A MASSIVE BRANCH HAD FELL FROM THE HEAVENS. 

Its descent was PERFECT. The branch managed to make its way into the blade’s path before blood could be drawn. His katana drove deep into the wood and the sudden balance change made him lose his grip on the sword. It dropped along with the branch with a flip. Neither the branch nor sword even so much as grazed against the woman. The thief gaped at the weapon, then at her, then back at his sword. He is hesitating now, not totally sure how he was disarmed in such a ridiculous way.

‘What in God’s green earth is happening?’ He went for it again

“T-Take this!” Just a simple punch aimed directly for her face. Nothing could go wrong this time, right? This time even she had the instinct to take a fighting stance. Muteki took a step forward to brace herself, yet her foot accidentally landed on the handle of his forgotten katana. The sword popped out of the wood with the blade side flying straight into the air. The man didn’t notice this and continued to step into his punch-

Pushing his balls right into the tip of the blade.

…

Muteki gasped, frozen by the sight.

…

The robber’s mind started to connect the dots. Realizing his nuts weren’t ok anymore.

…

…” Told you.” She whispered as she relaxed her stance. So thoroughly humiliated that she couldn’t even meet the poor bastard’s eyes. 

…

The robber finally realized-

“FFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKKKK!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHGHGHGHGHAHGAHGHAGHAHGHHHAHG!!” He fell back with his hands holding his jewels. Muteki winced at the poor fool.

“Sorry, that was harsh. But I tried to warn you, man…” The robber glared at her with tears in his eyes.

“You…”

“Me...”

“Y-y-you!”

“Uh…yes?”

“-I’M GOING TO FUCKING STRANGLE YOU, YA FUCKING CUNT!” He shot up with one hand still holding his erm-injury. All the while Muteki couldn’t stop her eye roll.

“Sttoooppp you’re only going to make it wooorrsseeee.” Her words are dripping with false concern. She didn’t care at this point. He is a moron who needs to learn how to listen. At least the robber had the common sense to watch where he stepped this time. He raced around the sword and branch before heading straight for her YET AGAIN… Muteki stared straight into his eyes, Showing no concern whatsoever. It set him off more than ever. 

“DIE YOU FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT!!” Just as his hand stretched out… just as it kissed the delicate skin encasing her throat. In the exact moment when Muteki eyes widened ever so slightly… 

A FUCKING HORSE DRAWN CART burst into the scene! It took the road’s turn at a reckless speed. The cart itself almost tipped due to the carelessness. The horses ran straight at them while her attacker’s jaw literally hit the floor.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BULL-?” The horses stomped him into the ground while missing Muteki. She staggered back but it wasn’t necessary since she was out of range. The cart the horses pulled ran over the man easy but once the branch came into its path the cart launched into the air and slammed back down into the ground. For some reason the cart was carrying a ginormous pile of dirt and as the cart hit the ground said dirt inside spilled out due to the force. Burying the fallen robber at least three feet under. Muteki’s brow twitched as another man’s wail came around the road’s bend.

“MY CART, MY CART!!!! DAMN IT ALLLLL!” He ran pass Muteki without so much as a wave, continuing his chase. Just after the cart driver ran by, Muteki finally caught a whiff of the ‘dirt’.

“AW HELL! *Heave*-” Her eyes watered while mucus began pouring from her nose.

-It’s shit. It is a literal ton of shit. 

“I’m done… I’m so FUCKING done…” She stormed away from the scene. Furious at the thieve and cart owner.

“Luck-“

“My-“

“ASS.”


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2.

She managed to find her way back to the hotel and yes, they did in fact serve hot pot. She forced herself to try and enjoy the rest of her day, but her nerves were stilled fired up. She was grumpy during her bath, seething during her dinner, and pissed off up until she went to bed. Even when she woke the next day her temper was flared. Her embarrassing ‘gift’ always pissed her off. Muteki is a woman who admires skill and talent. Worships it even- Yet she only won yesterday’s battle due to this…’luck.’ If you could even call that a ‘win’.

‘He just had to come at me with his stupid metal toothpick. Why doesn’t anyone ever listen to me? I warn them over and over again- But not a single person has ever listened!’ Muteki pushed her hair off her forehead as she laid on the futon. She’s heated and she didn’t want to keep on lingering over this. 

‘Let it go. Just let it go…’ 

‘Breathe in’

‘Breathe out.’ 

*Knock, Knock, Knock*

*sigh* ‘Damnit.’ Muteki let out another long breath as she rolled off the bed. She went to open the door and wouldn’t you know it, the man from yesterday stood on the other side.

“…Are you really going to put us through all of that again?” The robber flushed but stood tall.

“I lost, that much is obvious. The hospital visit…was humiliating to say the least. But I’m not here to talk about our, err, ‘fight’. Mind if I come in?” Muteki quirked a brow.

“You know I should say no… ah whatever. Sure.” She had to see what he was trying at. Muteki gave him some room and the robber slipped by. She shut the door behind him before strolling over to sit across from him on the floor. He seemed surprised by her attitude.

“You’re quite…trusting.” She shrugged.

“As you saw, I can afford to be. Although let it be noted that I’m still quite furious.” He was very quick to agree.

“I suppose I can attest to that. And…well I guess you have a right to be. While we’re on the subject, what happened yesterday- That is a normal occurrence for you?”

“Yea…it is.” The robber noted her lack of interest. He assumed this wasn’t the first time she has been questioned over her ‘gift’.

“I’m sorry for the bother. But… it’s just- “she cut him off.

“-insane? Shouldn’t even be possible? What is it? A gift from God? Is it some carried over karma from my previous life? How about an insanely powerful guardian angel with a cynical sense of humor?” She waved her hand with a roll of the eyes. The robber of course, took notice of her attitude.

‘Ok… she’s explained this to A LOT of people-’

“-How about all of the above? You know, even though it ended in such an embarrassing defeat. I must say I’m happy to have witnessed it first-hand. You see, miss? “

“-Muteki.”

“Miss Muteki, I’m journeying towards what could be possibly the only village willing to take in a criminal such as myself. Sadly, what you witnessed before was me…retrieving more supplies. It’s still quite far you see- “

“-and so, you ‘tried’ to rob me to help fund your trip.” This time he rolled his eyes.

“Annnd I ‘tried’ to rob you yes. ‘Course that went fantastically. You know, I had to bail on yet another hospital bill thanks to you.” Muteki wanted to correct him- Remind him that HE was the one who started the whole interaction over 1,000 RYO. Yet the man already took a katana to the balls… So, she let this one go.

“What then, are ya trying to make me pay once more? And, I can’t help but wonder- why did you only want 1,000?” 

“First off no, I wanted you to come with me actually. Second, I can make 1,000 go pretty far… it would’ve lasted me through another week’s work of rations. Although this little tidbit really isn’t imperative, yes?” 

“I suppose but…”

“…”

“You’re really stupid.” The man’s vein popped from his forehead, but he stopped himself before he could argue with her. He could concede that his request is preposterous and absolutely out of the blue. Yet he wished she could have had a little more tact about it. 

“Miss Muteki, I know this is a…strange request. But I did some research before finding you again. I found out about your business and you should know that this could be an equally rewarding endeavor for a weapons maker of your caliber.” 

“…I’m listening.” The mugger inwardly grinned, knowing he’s has her now. 

“Heh, well- as you know Most villages have at least one blacksmith to produce their weapons for them, but I know for a fact that the Hidden Rain village is in need. They do not have a one that can hold a candle compared to the others. They have a long track record of outside dealings because of this- “Muteki had to stop him there.

“-And how in the hell do you know this? No village in their right mind would ever share this info.” The robber smirked.

“I am not the most formidable in hand to hand combat, but I am a MASTER at info retrieval. I’ve been studying them for years now- even before I defected. It may be hard for you to believe but I am a jounin.” He’s right, she didn’t believe him at all in fact.

“A jounin with one of the ugliest katanas I’ve ever laid eyes on! I knew you weren’t to be trusted- I’m done with your games, bas- “He threw down a bingo book page along with a scratched up hidden stone hitai-ate. The books page had his face plastered on it with a detailed description of his abilities. Sure enough, it all matched and appeared legitimate. She even learned the man’s name- Hansuke.

‘Ok… maybe he is a jounin then. Could’ve fooled me.’

“-You have my attention again Hansuke…’ 

“Good, as I was saying- I’ve been studying them for years because I wanted to have a soft landing after defecting. The Hidden Stone and I were never going to see eye to eye. Defecting, to me, was the only option but I had to have a plan before doing so. I searched several possible towns and villages, and the Hidden Rain Village is my best opportunity. OUR best opportunity, even. You are apparently one of the greatest blacksmiths to ever walk the Earth- are you not? Easily comparable to those who work for The Five Nations. Yet you are only left with the occasional commission since you have no nation backing your work. We all know that who you work for is a big deal in your profession. Without the name and support you can only sell so much. This leaves you a black sheep in the world of weapon making, am I correct?” He was- and to be honest she is impressed.

“Ah, you do have braincells then…” Hansuke gritted his teeth. Frustrated but still sore from the last bout the two had. 

‘Just relax, with her weird power and reputation. Entrance to the Rain Village will be near guaranteed. I just have to BARE IT.’

“Ha...Ha… Yes, I do. Anyways- as you can see this prospect is much too great to pass on. I’m sure the moment you step foot into their village, they’ll supply you a legitimate shop right there and then. You’ll have a bustling business and the respect you deserve. You simply can’t say n-“

“- No “


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3.

“-No way this is perfect!!!!” The breath Hansuke held released. He really wished she could have started with a ‘Yes’. At least for his nerve’s sake. 

“I thought so as well, Miss Muteki.”

“Hansuke, I have been trying to find somewhere to set up shop for YEARS! Yet every village I’ve tried to make a contract with has denied me! These damn shinobi are so set in there ways sometimes… Once they have a half decent weaponsmith, they shut their ears to any new prospects.” She threw up her hands, going on with her tirade as if she’s gossiping with her best friend. Hansuke was perturbed by her casual demeanor yet it was somehow…refreshing? 

“I’ve noticed this as well, it’s one of the many reasons I left the Hidden Stone.”

“Honestly!! The Hidden Stone holds some of the most bullheaded people I’ve met! Anyways though, Hansuke you may have just saved me a lot of time and stress. I had no clue where else to try since information like ‘that’ is so hard to come by. I certainly didn’t have the skills to obtain it myself! …But oh wait… uhh- I guess I don’t have to tell you this…’ She chuckled a bit, realizing she forgot just who she was talking to. Thankfully Hansuke didn’t take offense. He was just relieved that she took the bait.

“It’s fine. I suppose this means you’re coming with me?” Muteki paused after his question. She knew she had to really think this through. This could be a massive change in her life. Many of her prior clients will never commission her again. Especially if she chooses to align herself with the Rain. If she does this- then any client outside of the region will be forced to cut their ties with her and vice versa. It’s a big deal to say the least. She held up a finger, asking for some time to think. Hansuke leaned back and began to patiently wait for her answer.

‘I’ve been trying to find someone willing to take me in for so long. A shop has always been the goal and if he’s correct- then I can finally accomplish it and continue with life. Papa would be so proud as well… so I guess that part is easy. Problem now is, I really don’t need this guy. I could easily turn him down and travel alone.’ Oh yes, she knew what he was doing. Her ‘karma’ would help ensure his safety and her status in the world of weapon making will help guarantee himself a spot in the village. It’s quite a smart plan, especially considering he came up with it in only a day’s time. She admired his cleverness yet continued going back and forth between the two prospects. He may be clever but so is she. While she was taking her time, the silence was setting Hansuke on edge.

‘Will this bitch just hurry up? There’s no way she can refuse when there’s so much at stake to win.’ Yes, he knew that she had no reason to travel with him but from what the locals have said- she’s a fair and honorable. In his past experiences, having so much given to someone with her supposed personality type should make them inclined to give back. Fair is fair after all, right? Yet still, Hansuke had one last trick ready just in case. Yes, his ace in the hole just waiting for the right time. 

You see, most of his information came from one place-

-just…one... place… And he was more than capable of putting two and two together.

“Miss Muteki please, I know you have no reason to take me but if you’ll have me. I promise to repay you once I have a stable job in the Rain. I’ll buy your coffee and tea for a whole year even- “

“DEAL.” Ok, he knew that would work. But really? She didn’t even hesitate….

‘Damn, she’s really a caffeine addict.’ If only he knew just how true those words were- 

-He may have just taken the chance and continued by himself.

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Muteki allowed him to stay in her hotel for the day. Might as well since they were partners now. She couldn’t believe her luck. Come on, free coffee? Just to travel with this guy? Easy… There is no way she’s passing that up. It’s a good offer and Hansuke couldn’t agree more. He was sure to be accepted now and have the protection that comes with a Village. Best of all he will be far away from the Hidden Stone. Something he’s dreamed about for nearly a decade. All he had to do was bare her for a few days and buy her a few drinks. If only the poor fool knew what he did. He made a deal with the devil and oh, Muteki wasn’t going to go easy on him. She is planning to abuse the hell out of this deal all the way ‘til the last minute. Hansuke had to be oblivious about the extent of her addiction and she intended to keep it that way. Better he found out AFTER her side of the bargain was completed. It’s a bit underhanded but considering the dangers of traveling with a missing-nin…Yea, it’s fair enough. Well…That may be the caffeine addiction convincing her it is…

Regardless, they decided to head off first thing in the morning. Muteki enjoyed one last soak in the hot spring and one more good meal. She always hated this part but hopefully this’ll be the end of her nomadic lifestyle. Hansuke had intended on a three-day hike. It will be a ‘brisk’ pace for a civilian but he’s ready to settle down. What he didn’t know was- that wasn’t going to happen. At least, not in the way he planned. After they left the town’s perimeters early that morning. He was surprised to see Muteki use chakra to leap into the trees. She glanced back at the man and noticed this confusion immediately.

“Something the matter, Hansuke? Got cold feet?” 

“You are a kunoichi?” Muteki barked a laugh but soon explained.

“Absolutely not! Never have been either! Any half decent weaponsmith should be able to use their own wares. How can you understand a weapon if you lack a fundamental understanding of how it’s meant to be wielded? That’s asinine!” The jounin leapt from the ground to join her side. His curiosity is getting the best of him, but he had to know more.

“I understand how it’s helpful. Many renowned weaponsmiths are prior shinobi…but you said you never had formal training?” The woman smiled at him. For this is something she took great pride in.

“Technically it wasn’t, but you see my father was a shinobi for the Leaf. He retired honorably after receiving a crippling injury. With nothing but a library and craftiness- he learned the art of weapon making and taught me. But that’s really all he could teach me-” She scratched her temple with a strained grin. 

“-Because as you know, Villages don’t really appreciate civilians being taught shinobi arts. At least, not without the intention of becoming a shinobi.” 

“So, in order to preserve your civilian status- your father taught you the bare minimum… I get what you’re saying but really, doesn’t this make you a ronin?” Muteki shrugged, she never really thought about that.

“I suppose by technicality. Although this still leaves me with a world of opportunities. Unlike my father, who must work for The Hidden Leaf due to their prior relationship. I have no commitments to a particular village since I’m registered as a civilian.” 

“Wait, your father works for the Leaf? Then why didn’t you just stay there and inherit his shop?” Muteki kissed her teeth a few times with a disapproving wave of her finger.

“My father and I have dreamed of this for a long time. About as long as I can remember. Building my own shop is something we both want. To us, inheritance is an easy route that holds no true reward. No, I must do this on my own, Hansuke. He bestowed me the tools- I have to build with them.” Hansuke really couldn’t understand this mentality. But if it meant her helping him, he didn’t need to.

“Honorable I suppose. Well now that I know you’re capable of tree hopping. I guess we’ll really get started then. Shall we?” The weaponsmith smirked.

“Sounds good-” The two took off towards the Hidden Rain at breakneck speeds. Both excited to arrive to what could possibly be their new homes.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4.

Hansuke was surprised to find out that Muteki is also a quiet travel partner. He was worried she wouldn’t be able to shut up, but it turned out she isn’t one to initiate conversation. Hansuke is a loner type as well and wanted nothing to do with socializing and friend making. He is only concerned with his goals and ambitions, no one else’s. Especially not of some random woman he’s using to gain access to the Hidden Rain. He was grateful for his luck with this endeavor. She isn’t a pest and they wouldn’t have to be around each other for long thanks to her ability to tree hop. In a little over a day the two will arrive to their destination with no time delay. All of this was adding up to be the pleasant and beneficial traveling experience they had hoped for. Much different to what he first pictured. Hours flew by with ease and as nighttime approached, Hansuke decided it was time to settle for the night. 

“Miss Muteki? Shall we begin setting up camp?” Muteki stopped at a branch before facing the missing-nin. 

“I suppose, I can build the tent if you go round up some firewood and food?” 

“Do you know how to lay traps?” Muteki gave him a look that could only be read as ‘Are you really asking that?’

Seeing how he experienced her gift firsthand- he can understand her annoyance.

“…Never mind. I’ll go ahead and take my leave.” He took off into the forest. Surely it wouldn’t be too hard to find some supplies. The wood is easy enough since the pair are inhabiting a forest full of fallen trees and branches. Hansuke didn’t have to go far before collecting enough for the night. After he dropped off the bundles, he left to hunt. This part is straightforward as well, but it can take some time. He perched himself in a suitable spot and began to wait for any sign of prey. He felt no need to exert anymore energy then he had to, an opportunity was sure to open itself up within the lush greenery.

Meanwhile, Muteki took her time setting up the tent. They still had a decent amount of daylight left- So she didn’t to rush the process, especially with Hansuke hunting still. She strung up some cord along two trees and was starting to stake the corners of the tarp down when she noticed a man entering the campsite. She had initially assumed it was Hansuke again, but one look was all it took before she realized what was going on. A man in full, Hidden Stone styled shinobi gear is nonchalantly strolling up to her position. Not remotely threatened by the woman before him. Muteki is also far from threatened as well and went ahead with asking the obvious.

“AAAhhhhh, well hello there. I’m assuming you’re here for Hansuke? I’m sorry to say, but he isn’t here right now. I can take a message?” The Hidden Stone shinobi gave a devilish smirk.

“Well aren’t you polite? Unfortunately for you, Hansuke is already being dealt with. I’ve been sent here to just handle some loose ends.” Muteki nodded her head and tapped her bottom lip with her finger.

“I guess you’re talking about me huh-” He nodded.

“-That is unfortunate, hopefully I can get to him in time…” The man before her pulled out a kunai. A little put off by her attitude.

“You really think you can get past me? Really? Do you even know who I am?” 

“No, I don’t know who you are at all. Should I?” His whole face and neck burned bright red.

“You fucking whore! I am the great Mud slinger of the Hidden Stone! -“

“You couldn’t get a more threatening title?” 

“Wh-WHAT!? I am an A- RANK SHINOBI! My name has sent fear down the spines of many!!”

“I’m pretty sure my 3-year-old nephew called himself something like that when he was playing shinobi...”

“HOW DARE YOU!? I’ve killed DOZENS…dozens I tell you!! I am one of the strongest shinobi in my entire village!!”

“Yea- as you already know, I’ve met one of your village’s jounin already. And I’m starting to wonder if the Hidden Stone is just handing out headbands at this point…” 

“Ho- HOW DARE YOU!!! PREPARE TO FACE THE POWER OF MY EARTH STYLE-“The tarp Muteki had been working on flew off the cord and soared right into the shinobi’s face. Successfully entangling him and giving Muteki the opportunity she needed. She quickly launched herself and elbowed the crook of his neck, knocking him out in no time. The whole ‘fight’ was over before it even began. She would normally curse her luck for once again interfering but this time she could give it a pass. After all, Hansuke needs her help and that guy was starting to annoy her. 

“Well that’s done. Better go save the damsel in distress then…”

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Hansuke had just finished skinning his catches. A squirrel and a rabbit, good enough for two dinners easily. They can even dry some out overnight and use the meat for later tomorrow. He was beginning to head back to the campsite before he sensed a couple of new chakra signatures. 

‘Of course, they followed me. Damn it all…’

“I know you’re here, how about you show your faces…” On cue a kunai rocketed towards Hansuke’s face. He rolled away from the weapon along with the other kunai that followed it. After he was back on his feet, Hansuke leapt backwards into the trees. Darting back towards the campsite in search of his travel partner.

‘I can’t fight two of them. I have to find Muteki!’ The two signatures raced after him. He knew they had to be hunter-nin. That much is obvious. 

“DAMN IT YOU BASTARDS!!!!” ‘Just you WAIT.’ A spiteful part of Hansuke is almost excited to see others suffer the humiliation of facing Muteki.

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The weaponsmith herself is searching desperately for Hansuke. Muteki ran in the direction she saw him leave but that meant nothing after how much time had passed. She is a weapons specialist, not a tracker. This left her with only one option- run around and hope her curse would lead her to him. This is an entirely new situation for her, she knew her luck could stop enemies but Muteki has never had to try using the curse like this. To be fair though- she’s never really tried to use it either. This whole dilemma is a first and she is left with no other choice than to try. 

‘Man, he better be grateful for this!!- I’m going to make him buy so much coffee!!‘

“HANSUKE!! HANSUKE, WHERE ARE YOU?! HANSUKE!!!” She leapt from branch to branch in a frenzy. Screaming his name as loud as she could.

“HANSUKE!!! HANSUKE IT’S ME!! HAANSSUUKE! HA-“A crack rang throughout the forest… it’s loud, so loud in fact that it caused Muteki to stumble to a halt.

“h-h-h-Hansuke??” She turned her head slowly, and boy did she wish she hadn’t.

“Oh. My. God…” 

You see…Muteki’s luck is a double-edged sword. At times it becomes… quite forceful with its host. 

“SHHHHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

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The shinobi kept themselves hidden, choosing to strike from afar. Hansuke is attempting to locate Muteki’s signature while avoiding the hail of kunai but he is still out of range. Already his body is riddled with gashes yet Hansuke would be damned if he allowed himself to die like this.

“You guys really don’t give up!!! The least you can do is show yourselves!!” They didn’t reveal themselves of course and Hansuke expected as much. He didn’t know what to do at this point but their game of cat and mouse was going to have to come to an end and unfortunately for Hansuke- it appears it is going to end now. He couldn’t doge the kunai fast enough, one landed right into his thigh and dug itself deep into the muscle. The missing-nin cried out as his leg gave- He couldn’t even catch himself as his body began its descent. It was a perfect hit that left his limb completely useless. He knew he couldn’t recover from this, he’s going to fall straight into the dirt. And from this height it’ll kill him…He’s done. Every precaution he took was for nothing. His plan failed… He failed… Nothing had gone right in his life.

‘No, no, no!! Not like this! I’m not done yet!!!-‘His body is barreling towards the earth, he is about to make impact.

“NO!!!! I’M NOT DONE YEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTT!!!!!!!!!” In that moment, his senses pinged. Muteki… it’s her chakra! Hansuke’s eyes shot towards her and widened, he caught sight of her. Down below she is running at full speed towards him. He was relieved at the sight but soon noticed something is off.

‘Why does she appear so terrified? Wait a minute…WAIT A MINUTE.’ Behind her, HE CAUGHT SIGHT OF WHAT’S BEHIND HER. 

“OH SHIT!!!” Hansuke cried. Muteki finally noticed him and screamed.

“FUCK, YOUR LEG!!!! SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! OH SHIIIIIITTTT!!!!’ She leapt up and caught him just before his body made contact. Thanks to her line of work, she is strong enough to lift him and keep running. She threw the man over her shoulder where he was able see the full brunt of what they were facing. He didn’t even notice the other signatures retreating. They had every reason to run from the battle- trees are being torn down as if they were paper, the earth itself is quaking underneath the force of nature that’s chasing the duo, a wall of obliteration leveling anything in its path following behind them. 

They are caught up in a stampede of giant bison. Dozens no, HUNDREDS OF BISON. Hansuke couldn’t believe the chaos before his very own eyes. Giant bison, as you can guess, are much larger than their counterparts. They are the size of RHINOS… 

“DEAR GOD, AREN’T THEY SUPPOSED TO LIVE IN PRAIRIES!!???”

“HANSUKE DO THEY LOOK LIKE THEY GIVE A SHIT ABOUT WHERE THEY’RE SUPPOSED TO BE?!?!?!?!” 

“BUT THIS IS IMPOSSIBLE!! HOW ARE THERE GIANT BISON IN A FOREST!?!?!?!!?!? IT GOES AGAINST EVERY LAW OF NATURE!!!!! I DON’T THINK YOU UNDERSTAND JUST HOW INSANE THIS IS, MUTEKI!! SHINOBI ARE TRAINED TO AVOID LARGE PRAIRIES FOR THIS EXACT REASON!! THEY ARE A MASSIVE THREAT TO ALL SHINOBI, EVEN JOUNIN!!!!!”

“I DON’T HAVE TIME TO DEBATE THIS, YA MORON!!! CAN YOU JUST SHUT UP AND LET ME THINK!!!” Muteki leapt into the treetops hoping of gaining traction. She had to figure out a way to save them. No way could she test her luck with this. No instinct in her body would allow it. There’s only so much one is willing to gamble against and she’s hit her limit. Especially with Hansuke relying on her to save them. She had to act fast and thankfully she’s strong but Muteki is no Tsunade- she’ll hit her limit soon enough and her limbs will give out. As if there wasn’t enough going wrong- on top of everything Muteki could barely tell what’s happening behind them. She found herself wishing she had eyes on the back..of…her…

“HANSUKE, I TAKE THAT BACK! CAN I GO RIGHT OR LEFT TO AVOID THEM?!” 

“THEY ARE COVERING TOO MUCH WIDTH! YOU’LL GET HIT BEFORE DODGING THEM!” 

‘Shit, if I can’t avoid them what else can I do!? I can’t run against the current. I don’t think I’m capable of dodging that much. FUCK, I can’t think like this!! Not when I’m trying to run! Maybe he can make a plan?’

“HANSUKE, CAN YOU THINK OF SOMETHING!? I HAVE TO FOCUS!!” 

“ALRIGHT, I’LL TRY! JUST KEEP US ALIVE!” The weaponsmith grunted a confirmation back while Hansuke gathered every bit of knowledge he had on the formidable beasts.

‘We can’t avoid them, and we can’t outrun them. Their endurance is only outmatched by Kage level shinobi and we just don’t fit the bill. We can’t rely on her gift; she appears to understand that as well- so that’s not happening. You can’t fight them either without high-level combative jutsu- ‘

“MUTEKI, DO YOU KNOW ANY HIGH-LEVEL JUTSU!?”

“NO, I’M A WEAPONS SPECIALIST!!” Hansuke thought her answer over.

“DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING ON YOU THAT CAN CREATE A LOT OF DAMAGE!?”

“I HAVE PAPER BOMBS, BUT THAT’S IT!!” The man’s eyes snapped wide.

“HOW MANY!?” 

“A SHIT TON ARE IN MY BACK POCKET!! BUT I DON’T HAVE ANY KUNAI OUTSIDE OF MY SCROLL!” Hansuke’s hand slithered straight into her pocket. Sending a disgusting chill up Muteki’s spine as his hand grazed her backside. Hansuke pulled out the bombs then took in his environment once more. Before he did anything, he made sure Muteki is aware of his plan.

“MUTEKI I’M GOING TO SET ALL OF THESE OFF!”

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY!?!?!?!?! HAVE YOU GONE OFF THE DEEP END HANSUKE!!??!?!?!!?” 

“IF EVERYTHING WORKS THE WAY I HOPE, THEY’LL BE SCARED OFF BY THE BOMBS!! THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO BE SKITTISH CREATURES BUT DAMMIT, AFTER SEEING THIS I HONESTLY DON’T KNOW WHAT’S FACT ANYMORE! IT’S ALL I’VE GOT THOUGH AND IT’S WORTH A TRY! GET READY!!” Muteki braced herself as Hansuke charged the bombs with chakra. He released the sheets of paper into the wind as the two continued on.

“MUTEKI, BOOK IT!!” She charged a ridiculous amount of chakra into her feet and pushed off with every bit of force she could muster, cracking the wood beneath her feet. The wind blinded the weaponsmith- she could barely tell where the next branch would be, but the woman knew she had to move fast before-

*BOOM*


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5.

The bomb’s roar echoed through the forest and ripped the earth apart. The shock wave rattled the duo to their core but ‘luckily’ Muteki had managed to slip into cover behind a boulder. It was close- but she made it in time with Hansuke in tow. Miraculously neither were injured by the explosion but that certainly didn’t mean the two are in the clear. With Hansuke injured, Muteki took it upon herself to check their surroundings. Sure enough, the bison are fleeing the scene and the two are safe once more. Muteki let out a long sigh as she let her body slide down the tree. She took a seat beside her partner and allowed herself a moment to process what just happened.

“You know Hansuke? You really know your stuff… I always thought shinobi were brutes up until now.” Hansuke is still panting. Surprised he’s still breathing.

“Not all shinobi… are offensive types … you know.” Muteki shrugged before she tucked her head between her knees to recollect herself. 

“Yea, I do now… whew. So, they friends of yours?” Hansuke nodded through his body’s racking breaths. He had pushed himself beyond his limits and it took its toll.

“Hunters…. must have been… *swallow* gah….. must have been sent to kill me.” Muteki examined the man. She could tell his condition isn’t good and she doubted he’d be able to walk after the injury he sustained.

“I guess camping is not an option then but what now? I can carry you about half-way if I pace myself. I don’t think I can do much more than that.”

“Take me as far as you can then. I’ll think of something on the way. You sure you can make half-way? That’s quite far for a woman to carry someone.” Muteki glowered at him.

“Don’t be sexist, Hansuke. Yes, I can absolutely get us half-way. You ready?” Hansuke nodded and lifted an arm for her. Muteki slipped underneath it and hauled him up onto her back.

“Having to travel like this is degrading.” She rolled her eyes.

“I can leave you if your honor is that important.” Hansuke’s winded laugh is barely audible.

“What honor? I’m a shinobi, we don’t have honor.” Muteki’s grin is mischievous with her own playful laugh bouncing off the trees. She launched herself up into the branches leaving behind nearly all their supplies. It’s best not to risk any more danger for them. Where they’re going it’ll be easy to restock. 

“I guess so, but I am the one that arms you. What does that say about me?”

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Later into the night.

Hansuke is impressed, she traveled for hours but just as she forewarned her legs began giving out at a little over half-way.

“Hansuke please tell me you thought of something? I’m at the end of my rope here.” 

“I went through several scenarios but the only thing we can do is camp. You must find somewhere for us to hide and after you rest up, we must leave again.” Muteki didn’t care for this plan.

“Hansuke your leg is fucked up and we don’t have medical supplies. To top it off, you just got healed from your ‘injury’ the other day.” He appeared grim, even after Muteki embarrassingly reminded him of the time he almost lost his ‘member’. 

“I know Miss Muteki, but I think I can survive until you recuperate.”

“Are you sure about that though?”

“It doesn’t fucking matter if I’m sure. There’s nothing else that can be done. For having the ‘curse of luck’ you’re quite unlucky.” Muteki bit her bottom lip.

“I don’t control this, I never have. One time my father tried to discipline me because I had completely unwraveled his spool of silk. He used that stuff to make Katana handles while I was using it to play jump rope like a moron. Obviously silk is quite expensive, so my father was livid. It had scared me so much because seeing him angry is a rarity. I KNEW deep down he would never hurt me, Hansuke. My papa is a good man and I never doubted that growing up… Well… Anyways, it didn’t matter. He made an attempt to grab my arm, but he never got a hold of me. The outdoor faucet busted and absolutely drenched his body… oh and the piece of piping that flew off the wall knocked him out cold.” 

“Well what a lovely story but I must ask. Back when we made that deal, you tricked me?”

“I didn’t trick you. That same week we were low on funds and he managed to win it big at gambling. I mean- shit, those hunter-nin chasing us would have killed you if I weren’t there. I’m trying to say it just doesn’t work the way you want it to. That is all.” Hansuke took this in and was a bit relieved to find out that she didn’t lie to him. She did make a valid point as well. He is quite aware he would have died on his own.

“I see now, thank you for the clarification. So, is that why you call your ‘luck’ a curse.” Muteki nodded, while finally settling on a hiding spot between some large trees. It isn’t great by any means but it’s all they were going to find.

“The Curse of Luck…. I think that’s a fitting name for my condition. Anyways, can you take watch? In a couple hours I should be good to go again.” Hansuke nodded.

“I will wake you up at dawn, get some sleep.”

“I mean I’ll try. No promises.” Hansuke about cuffed the back of her head but quickly stopped himself before he made that mistake again.

‘Damn woman.’

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The night was peaceful but Hansuke didn’t want to push it. He woke her up right at dawn just as he promised. Muteki felt heavy and sore but she had to hurry this up. Hansuke’s leg had taken a horrid turn overnight. She isn’t a medic, but it doesn’t take one to know his leg is looking awful. They need to find him a hospital ASAP. Speaking of things taking a turn for the worse- The weather was beginning to darken as they continued traveling closer and closer to their destination. The clouds became grayer and grayer and eventually the rain began pouring. Muteki groaned at the Heaven’s

“This is a huge reason why I never tried this village. I didn’t want to bother with traveling in this rain if I couldn’t make a deal. Damn, I also wanted a drier home to set up shop yet here we are! Stupid rain…” Hansuke didn’t respond to her. His stomach is nauseous and his fever had to be spiking. Having a wound exposed like this for so long without any sanitation is beginning to affect him. He had to be contracting an infection and that is something they can’t afford. He tried examining there whereabouts and was relieved to find that they were closing in on the Hidden Rain Village. Muteki realized this as well and picked up the pace.

“I’ll get you there Hansuke. Don’t worry. You’ll be in the hospital in no time. Just hold out a little longer.” 

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	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6.

Hansuke woke up to the sight of fluorescent lights. They blinded him at first, but he soon caught sight of the notorious tiled ceiling every shinobi dreaded. He’s in a hospital room, that much is clear. He wanted to get up to look around, but his chest is strapped to the bed. The jounin figured he’s restrained so he couldn’t try anything mischievous. He hypothesized as well that this hospital must be within the Rain Village. The sound of rain pouring outside told him as much. He knew Muteki could do the impossible, but he is still relieved to see that she wasn’t forced to abandon him. Did his plan go the way he wished it? Absolutely not. But he’s here, so all in all the mission was a success. Hansuke took a moment to test his limbs. Much to his surprise he felt both of his legs. He thought that infection would’ve required an amputation seeing how quickly it had spread. But there it is, he could even feel his toes.

“Yo Hansuke!” Hansuke jerked his head to the side. He hadn’t realized there were visitors.

“It’s you!” Muteki looked around like she was trying to see where that statement came from.

“Uh, yea? I’ve been here since you were admitted?” The jounin is floored.

“Yo-You stayed with me? But why?” 

“To make sure you’re okaaaaayy? I must be lost, what about this is shocking?” Hansuke took a dry gulp. His throat is incredibly dry, so he had difficulty doing this. Muteki noticed as much and turned away from him to pour a glass of water with the pitcher left at his bedside.

“-You’re making this weird, man. I don’t know why, but you are.” She offered to help him take a sip since his arms were bound yet Hansuke tried to avoid the cup.

“Your end of the bargain has been fulfilled. This isn’t your responsibility! Why are you here!?” The woman gave him a scowl.

“I already told you. Now let me help you until you’re clear to be released! Damn, show a shinobi some common decency and they lose their shit.” The last part was to herself rather than towards him. The man is flabbergasted, it had been just the other day he was trying to kill her and now here she is after saving him. Trying to help him drink some water of all things.

“Has anyone ever told you your presence is a bit, much?” She snorted.

“I’ve been told my whole family is. But really, if this is a bit much to you then I don’t want to imagine what your life is like.” Hansuke finally caved and took an assisted sip before replying.

“You don’t believe this is odd at all? What about making your contract? Have you even talked to the Village’s leader?”

“Well you see, about that…”

Flashback.

“Listen here you senbon pincushion! I don’t have time to fuck around with you or your half-pig partner over there. Seriously dude, did your mom fuck the pig or your dad? I’m curious.” This was a jab at the man’s logic defying upturned nose. It was most likely caused by a break, but it really looked like a pig snout to Muteki. The same shinobi with the smashed nose wanted to retort but his partner beat him to it.

“Who in the Hell do you think you are!?”

“I told you I’m Muteki the weaponsmith and this is- “The guard cut her off.

“THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT AND YOU KNOW IT. Now you listen here because this is the LAST time I’m going to explain this. I know our leader will want to see you but your friend there is another story. He is a missing-nin who must be investigated before he could POSSIBLY be granted access. Consider the fact that he is INCAPABLE of doing so and it stands to reason I can’t let him in! Now will you shut the fuck up and go already!? Or I may just have you detained!!”

“And I told you that there is no way I’m leaving him here to die! I promised this guy that I would travel with him into this damn village and that’s what I’m going to do! If not, then I’ll take my business elsewhere! I am sure your leader is going to LOVE hearing how you turned me away! I know my worth damnit and I know you’re not going to find a better smith!” She sassed back. The other guard with the broken nose interjected.

“It’s too late for you to turn around! If need be, we will force you to leave him behind! Face it you dumb bitch, we aren’t going to let you waltz around and do what you want!” Muteki angrily dropped Hansuke on the floor. Ignoring his unconscious groan and the guards’ shocked expressions. Sure, they were going to kill him. Yet they expected more from her after she’s stirred up so much of a fuss trying to save the guy.

“That’s it! I have HAD IT! I’m kicking your asses!” Muteki was starting to roll up her sleeves before a female voice cut through the sound of rain and their bickering. 

“Let her and her comrade in. He isn’t capable of threatening our village and he may prove useful.” Muteki was met with the sight of a blue-haired woman with the most gorgeous amber eyes she had ever seen. The lady is wearing a massive black cloak covered in red clouds. Muteki could have sworn they were alone. She couldn’t figure out where this strange kunoichi could have came from. She was about to ask who she was before the guards stood at attention.

“Y-Yes, God’s Angel!! Apologies! We will let them pass!” Muteki gaped at the guard’s and their instant change in demeanor.

‘That was quick! And God’s angel? A bit weird but I guess it’s a pretty moniker?’ The ‘angel’ spoke to Muteki next in a cool manner.

“Our leader has heard of you, am I to assume you wish to make a contract with our village?” 

“Uh yes?” The cloaked woman took a few steps closer towards the weaponsmith.

“How convenient. We had already sent a search party to find you so I must thank you for saving us the trouble. As you can already assume, we wish to make the contract. As a gift, you may bring your friend to the hospital and seek out treatment. I will find you once I finish discussing this with our Leader.” Even though she technically ‘thanked’ Muteki, it didn’t come off the most endearing or earnest. The cold personality isn’t necessarily offensive, but it did leave the smith a bit on edge.

“Sounds great? What time and place?” The kunoichi slowly shook her head.

“There is no need, I will find you.”

End of flashback.

“-And that was it! She left and I rushed you here. Lady gave me the chills I tell ya!” Hansuke had never heard a report of such a woman before. Someone with a title that ominous is sure to be important. He made a note of her description before responding.

“Then I am going to be interrogated while you wait for this kunoichi?” 

“Yea, they’ll probably start when they find out your awake. Nervous?” 

“For once? No. I have nothing to hide this time. I came here with honest intentions.” Muteki sat down in a chair on the side of the room.

“Glad to hear, I really stretched my neck out for your sake. Hmmmm, it’s been days. I wonder when they will come get me?” Hansuke didn’t hear anything after the word ‘days’.

“DAYS? What do you mean!? How many days has it been!?” 

“6.” He could throttle her.

“DIDN’T YOU THINK THAT WAS IMPERATIVE INFORMATION!? 6 DAYS!?” 

“Not really. Does it change anything?” The shinobi knocked his head back into the hospital bed.

“*Groan* There is something wrong with you.”


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7.

Elsewhere in the Hidden Rain Village, six days ago.

Within the massive, dark room stood 8 shadowy figures on top of the Gedo statue’s fingertips. Each a phantom of the owner’s physical form. The only beings who were solid are Pein and Konan for their location was within the Hidden Rain Village at the time being. Konan had just returned after greeting the Weaponsmith Muteki at the gate. Pein had sent Kakuzu, Hidan, Sasori, and Deidara to search for her just yesterday so when Konan happened to spot her it was certainly a surprise. The detour did cause her to be late for today’s meeting, but she knew the update will be worth it. Pein figured something must have happened and waited for his partner to explain.

“The weaponsmith sought us out on her own accord. She was at the gate and the guardsmen on duty were refusing to grant her travel partner access. She was adamant about bringing him into the village, even threatened to leave. I ordered them to enter and seek out the hospital for aid.” Pein responded.

“Then that was her chakra I sensed… I must say, this is quite a convenient turn of events. Very well, Kakuzu, Hidan, Sasori, and Deidara. As you heard we have no need for you to search. The mission has been dismissed.” Hidan barked back at their leader.

“I HAD TO HANG AROUND THOSE TWO FREAKS FOR NOTHING!? Talk about a waste of my time!” 

“Hey!? Who are you calling a freak!?” Deidara retorted

“You and you’re freaky partner! That’s who, got a problem with it!?” Deidara scoffed and was about to fire back again but Sasori beat him to it.

“Both of you knock it off. I will not sit here and listen to you squander.” Kakuzu also chimed in, guessing that Hidan wouldn’t drop the argument so easily.

“I will tear your legs off again if you say one more word Hidan. Pipe down.” The threat made Hidan hesitate. It is a pain to have your legs chopped off, sure. But Kakuzu will make him crawl for miles before he’d even consider reattaching them. He debated if the fight was worth it before inevitably deciding to save himself the trouble. This time at least.

“Ah whatever, damn heathen ain’t worth it anyways.” Deidara huffed at him before returning his attention back towards their leader and Konan- who had been patiently waiting for the four of them to stop bickering. Leader took a moment to make sure they had finished before continuing with the meeting.

“As you all already understand once our contract has been made the weaponsmith will build her shop within the Hidden Rain. I am aware that many of you will need her services but until she proves her loyalty you will have to avoid her and her shop. Konan, you will act as mediator for the time being. Should the rest of you need to restock or have your weapons repaired, you will seek out Konan until further notice.” Pein paused to see if anyone wanted to speak yet no one did. Many were just relieved that they wouldn’t have to turn to the blacksmiths for assistance any longer. The blacksmiths had managed to keep the village armed for quite some time, but their work is more than just lackluster compared to a specialist. Several of the Akatsuki even took the risk of seeking out foreign smiths in order to avoid them. So as one can imagine, when it was announced that they were going to hunt a weaponsmith down Hidan and Sasori volunteered their services for they were the ones that stood to benefit the most. Hidan’s scythe had to be kept in pristine condition for it to cut while Sasori required so many different types of weapons at such ridiculously high amounts that a personal weaponsmith at his beck and call is too much to ignore. The two of them were already planning on speaking to Konan the moment they returned to the Hidden Rain. The shop should be in business by then.

“That is all we had to discuss. Akatsuki- this meeting is adjourned.”

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Present time.

Muteki lounged around the hospital while Hansuke is interrogated. Nearly a week and she still hasn’t heard from the village’s leader. She isn’t worried about being turned away. She merely wanted to hurry up and get on with hashing out their terms. It is sure to be tense and life sucking, seeing how uptight the leader’s ‘Angel’ conducted herself. She wondered just what the leader of the Hidden Rain looked like. Is this person some big scary beast of a human being? Or maybe the more cunning and conniving type? Maybe she’s wrong and they’re actually friendly? Muteki’s mind went through several possibilities as she tried to burn time. Not like there was much else for her to do. After hours of imagining the door to Hansuke’s room opened but it wasn’t Hansuke who greeted her. It is the one and only blue haired woman from before. Coming to retrieve Muteki for their meeting.

“Good afternoon, I heard that your comrade has been behaving for our intelligence division. He is sure to be cleared soon enough.” Muteki did everything she could not to make a face.

‘Why is it every-last thing that comes out of this woman’s mouth sound so… so uncaring? That should have been exciting news but she a walking downer-’ 

“-Good, that guy owes me. Would suck if he couldn’t pay back his debt. I suppose it’s time?” The kunoichi shut the door behind her as she entered the room. 

“Yes, let us summarize our demands for the contract. I will have an authentic one drawn and delivered to you to sign later today. Shall we begin?” Muteki raised a single brow.

“Ummm, here? And with you? Nothing personal but shouldn’t I meet with the village leader?” 

“Our leader is far too busy to be troubled by such dealings-” 

“Ooouch.” Konan didn’t miss a beat.

“-I am more than capable, and he has entrusted me to do so. Is this an issue?” The weaponsmith knew better than to say it was. 

“Guess not… Where do you want to start then?” The kunoichi took a pad of paper from the hospital room to take notes for the official contract.

“Your pricing is a good place to start. What are your usual fees?”

“For standard weapons such as kunai and shuriken I base my prices off income. Genins pay less than Chuunins, Chuunins pay less than Jounins. These are my starting prices- “Muteki motioned to borrow the notepad so she could scribble the amounts down for the contract.

“-Academy students get a starter pack for free but after that they are to pay a small fee. Specialized weapons will be case by case and rank is completely disregarded. Is this fair to you?”

“Yes, but quite strange… Why do you use such a system when you could charge genin more? Also, to give out weapons for free is unheard of? Doesn’t this affect your margins?” Muteki leaned against Hansuke’s bed and crossed her arms.

“I’m sure the system sounds noble, but it really isn’t. If genin die because they couldn’t afford enough kunai- well, there goes my future earnings. Jounin make more than enough to cover the loss in funds so in the end I make more than if I charge Genin full price. As for the starter packs, I give those out to draw in business. If this village is anything like the Hidden Leaf- then I know the blacksmiths will be coming for my customers. If the academy students experience the real deal they won’t be as tempted to downgrade. You get me?” Konan had already heard of her history with the Leaf, so she didn’t address it.

“I see, well then. The Hidden Rain agrees to the pricing. Although we ask for one exception to be made.”

“Oh ho, what’s that?” 

“The Hidden Rain happens to have a special task force that serves our leader directly. They are to be well kept and constantly armed. Thus, we wish for them to be charged only material cost.” Muteki scrunched up her face. That request did not sit well with her AT ALL.

“You’re joking, right? Only material cost? I won’t get compensated for labor costs?” The cloaked woman stood firm as ever.

“Yes, I understand you will want something in return.”

“Uh yea, labor costs?” Muteki couldn’t fathom the request. It’s outrageous at best. Konan figured there would be some push back. Still, this isn’t up for debate.

“This is a demand from our Leader- I will not budge on the matter. Pick something you wish to exchange.” Muteki bounced off the bed and threw up her hands.

“There is already something we can exchange- labor costs! Are you kidding me!?” The woman stood silent as well as unyielding. It’s a dealbreaker for the kunoichi and her leader. If Muteki wants a shop, she must agree or get the boot. The weaponsmith read the woman’s face and saw as much.

“-Ugh, FINE! You’re lucky I’m desperate!” Muteki thought long and hard over what could remotely make up for what may possibly be a massive dent in her earnings. There isn’t much that could, but she thought of something that might.

“I want free labor from the village. I don’t care if they are genins or what have you- I want cashiers, stockers, janitors, guards… whatever I desire really. I also want permission to take foreign commissions. Is this fair?” 

‘If they won’t pay me cash, they’ll pay me with work. That should help negate the difference.’ Konan took a moment to ponder the request. She also made sure to consider what Nagato’s opinion would be.

“…This is fine. We can send shinobi to work for you in exchange. As for the foreign commissions they must be pre-approved by the village. Otherwise this is an acceptable request.” Muteki leaned back once again. 

“That works then. Next is amenities, I wish to be provided a suitable shop. But I also want to be provided an apartment.”

“Is a one bedroom acceptable? And can they be in the same building?”

“No problem. That would be preferred actually.”

“Then it will be done.”

“Cool. I have some rules I want to add to our contract. Some protection for myself is all…” Konan gave a gentle wave for her to proceed.

“-Ok, so… The Hidden Rain Village will NEVER try to use me to gain info on the Hidden Leaf. I am a civilian and have no other business in shinobi dealings outside of weaponry. What happens between you two is NONE of my concern. I also cannot be recruited to fight. If I do anything to protect this village than it will be on my own accord, no one else’s. Lastly, I wish for visitation rights to be extended towards my family. We’re tight knit and I want to be able to see them from time to time. Is this alright with you?”

“Only if you allow a guard to watch over your family as they visit. We must make sure none of you are gathering info.”

“I figured as much and it’s alright with me.”

“Then yes, you will stay a civilian and be allowed visitation. But this brings me to our own clause we wish to be added to the contract. You are to never share info concerning the Hidden Rain Village. If you should do so, you will be punished as seen fit.” The room went dead silent. The sound of rain is much louder than before. Muteki knew this would come up, but it is still a petrifying remark for the kunoichi to make. 

‘-And with that poker face still cemented into place… This girl has seen some shit no doubt about it.’ The weaponsmith isn’t a huge fan of her nonchalance. This clause could possibly kill her if she makes just one mistake. Yet the kunoichi showed no remorse and that pissed Muteki off.

“We’re talking about my mortality here, you know?”

“I’m aware… What say you, do you agree to the village’s condition?” Muteki snorted but there wasn’t any laughter to be had.

“Okay, okay. Sure, I won’t tell a soul. I’ve got nothing else. You?” The woman shook her head.

“That was all. As I mentioned before, I’ll have the formal contract notarized and sent to you. Farewell.” She vanished in thin air with paper flying everywhere and littering the entire room.

“Yea the ‘pleasure’ was all mine. I bet this stuff gets annoying to clean up after a while. She really shouldn’t litter-” The door opened again and Muteki was met with the sight of a newly released Hansuke being strolled in on a wheelchair by a medic. Near instantaneously the two men both noticed the mess.

“-You missed her again,” Muteki remarked.

“God’s Angel?” Hansuke asked.

“Yep, the one and only.” Muteki responded. The medic tending to Hansuke went ballistic after hearing Konan’s alternate title.

“YOU!? WHAT!?!?!? GOD’S ANGEL MET WITH YOU PERSONALLY!? WHY!?” 

“I happen to be an amazing conversationalist.” The injured shinobi scoffed while the medic choked on air. 

“H-h-hHuh? You’re f-friends!?” Muteki facepalmed.

“It’s a joke, I- just…just forget it. Hansuke, you cleared to leave the hospital?”

“Yes. Although I am to report to the intelligence division immediately for further questioning. They have another jounin outside waiting for me as we speak. I suppose this is goodbye for now, but don’t you worry. I haven’t forgotten our deal. When your shop opens, I will come to pay my debt.”

“You better, I’ll hunt you down if I have to.” Hansuke’s smile is endearing. Something totally out of place for the brunette man.

“There will be no need…. Thanks, Muteki.”

“I don’t need your thanks! You just better keep my coffee barrel full.” Hansuke’s face crashed.

‘Did I hear that bitch right?’

“Coffee…. barrel?” Muteki grinned.

“Oh yea- “She pulled out one of her storage scrolls and summoned a massive barrel that stood at about 5 feet tall. There is a long piece of tubing connected to the top that she stuck directly into her mouth.

“This is my coffee barrel. I drink out of this all throughout the day while I work. I go through at least one a day but on rough weeks I drink upwards of three barrels a day.” Hansuke’s eyes kept getting wider and wider. His lower jaw nearly sat in his lap. 

“-for the next year you’re going to keep this bad boy filled. It really was such a nice offer Hansuke! Thanks aggaaiinn~” The medic patted the man’s shoulder in solidarity. He couldn’t help but pity him.

“There is a soup kitchen here if you can’t afford food. I’m sorry for your lost…” The medic took his leave, but the pair overheard him whispering to himself.

“-That poor bastard, how is she not dead?” Hansuke went white and speechless as Muteki cackled away. 

“And you thought you pulled one over on me! GOT YOU DUMBASS!!! Glad you made it in one piece!!! AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!”


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8.

Since Muteki was staying by Hansuke’s side during recovery. She had not yet booked herself a hotel room until today. The hospital staff told Muteki about a hotel not too far from their location. So, she borrowed one of their umbrellas and made her way over through the crowed streets. The buildings are taller than she imagined they would be, and the color scheme is certainly gloomy. The rain is going to be hard to get used to as well. She wondered if there ever was sun around here or was that just a myth? 

‘Does it matter? I made a contract!! I did it! I. did. It. Me, myself, and I. NO CRAZY CURSE. This is all about my skill and nothing else! Papa is going to be so proud! If I need some sun and a change in scenery- I’ll just take a vacation!’ She took the final turn onto the street priorly mentioned by the nurses. Sure enough there was the sign for the inn. 

‘My own shop! I’m going to have my own shop!!’ A massive looming figure took a step before her. The husky, bearded man is completely blocking her path and her path alone. Muteki had hoped this was by accident but when she met his eyes it was made clear to her that this was no such coincidence. Much like back when she first met Hansuke.

‘Not this shit again. Feels like these days I can’t take 10 steps without someone getting in my way.’

“Hello?” The man grunted back at her in a huff. His dismay and sheer annoyance is clear as day.

“And just WHY are you here Haruno Muteki!? Last I heard you were still apprenticing under your father!?” Muteki scanned his features but came back blank.

“Well, you obviously know my name. Yet I don’t know who you are? Are you a friend of my father or something?” The man gasped.

“Friend!? Your father’s business sucked my own father’s shop dry! He even ran my family out of the Hidden Leaf! Our clan lost millions of ryo thanks to him!!” (A/N I’m using yen currency, so in dollars this is hundreds of thousands)

“My father’s business-? OH, SHIT you’re a blacksmith! Yea I suppose you wouldn’t be a fan of my dad then. Haha! Sorry but I still don’t know your name. Just who are you?” She is still chuckling, but the man isn’t laughing alongside her. No, he’s enraged.

“I am of the honorable Fukushima clan! Fukushima Reiji! We are the greatest blacksmiths to ever grace the Land of Fire and the Hidden Rain! We have been arming this land ever since your father destroyed our livelihood decades ago! I will be damned before I sit here and let you try to take our business again! There is nothing for you here, girl! Leave now! Shoo!!” The Fukushima clansmen tried to ward her off by flicking his fingers in Muteki’s face. She froze when she thought he’d anger the curse, but it appears he doesn’t truly mean her harm since the curse allowed him to do so. Although just because the curse allowed him to behave this way doesn’t mean Muteki will.

“Ok, I’m going to ask you politely to back up.” The two of them were beginning to draw a crowd. So many already recognized Reiji but no one knew who the pink haired girl was. Apparently, she is an enemy to the blacksmith, seeing as he was now screaming in her face.

“I will ‘back up’ when you LEAVE! You are not needed here!!” An immature side of Muteki wanted to point out that he was too late. But she stifled it, thinking it best not to escalate the situation. 

“I can exist where I damn please old man! Can you please move-!” She searched the crowd for assistance.

“-Hello? Can someone stop him? C’mon I just want to book a room!” Not a single person moved. There were people in the crowd who held the jurisdiction to. Yet they wanted to watch the show unfold. 

“-Seriously? No one? Damn it.” She tried to spin around Reiji, but the massive man only had to take a step to get in her way again. Muteki could use some shinobi skills but she’s worried about how her curse would react if she decided to get into a fight with so many people around. She could hurt someone, sure. But she’s more concerned with her image at this point. The weaponsmith is going to get her shop, these people may possibly be her future customers. Everything is lining up and she refused to have this thing exposed and terrorize them. Muteki even made Hansuke swear to keep her curse a secret. They don’t know her here. She can just be the weaponsmith Haruno Muteki. To be recognized for a skill she possesses that she worked for. It’s all she’s ever wanted. Yet Reiji had no such concerns and continued to berate her.

“I will not let you pass child! Turn around and march back to the Leaf! Be gone with yourself! Return to your father and stay there!” *Hand flick, hand flick. *

“Listen, I’m trying to mind my own business!” Reiji flicked his hands even more. His fingers nearly poked her eye.

“That’s the problem! Go away!”

*Hand flick, hand flick*

“-Will you please stop- “Muteki begged.

*Hand flick, Hand flick*

“Ok seriously stop that- “The man is quiet.

*Flick, flick*

“Fukushima was it?”

*Flick, flick*

“I’m trying to be nice here?” In Reiji’s mind he said what he needed to, so he merely continued to shoo her. 

“Leave!” *Hand flick, Hand flick* Muteki’s control is wavering. If this man keeps this up, she’s liable to blow a gasket.

“Just leave me alone you overgrown man child! I’m going to that damn inn you hear!? If you have a problem with my FATHER than you need to take that up with him!”

*Flick, flick. * 

“ALRIGHT FUCK IT. I’LL FIND ANOTHER INN JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE PLEAAASE!?” 

“You will do no such thing! I will follow you until you leave the gates if I must!” That finally broke Muteki’s composure.

“YOU ARE GOING TO MOVE OUT OF MY WAY WITH YOUR MUSTY ASS BEFORE I SHATTER YOUR KNEECAPS.”

*Flick-* Muteki’s grip crushed down on the man’s hand. The pain shot all the way up his arm into his spine as Reiji’s nerves cried out from the pressure. Quite a hard thing to do to a blacksmith’s hardened hands.

“MOVE.” She used her leverage to force him to the side. When she released Reiji, he found that his hand had already turned purple. The feeling is gone but he didn’t believe she broke it. After he finished his quick check, Reiji turned back to stop her. Yet he was too slow, she was already entering the inn before he had the chance. The crowd disintegrated once the skirmish had come to an end. Many could be heard giggling at Reiji’s defeat.

He couldn’t take it.

No, his father warned him of them. He can’t let her stay.

Even if he has to kill her... 

With Reiji’s heart set on revenge. He went to take a step towards his home. Only to trip and fall on his face. 

“Agh! What the Hell did I trip on!?” An innocent frog had been at the wrong place at the wrong time. It survived being stepped on but frantically hopped away from the furious looking human.

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	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9.

After securing a key Muteki left the front desk and ran straight to her room. The weaponsmith hastily locked herself up in order to hide from Fukushima Reiji. She’s aware she’ll have to face him eventually since it isn’t possible to hide from him for the rest of her days. But today? Yea, not the day. Muteki hadn’t expected her father’s old competition to take a personal vendetta against her. Especially when she’s so far away from home. Yet if the woman waits until her contract is secured, she should be fine. The wise move is to avoid the man until he is rendered powerless through the law. 

‘Just keep your mouth shut and your head down. Work smarter, not harder. It’s the kind of problem that will solve itself if I don’t fuck it up. Well then, if I’m stuck in this room, I should stay productive while I hide- ‘Muteki sat at the complimentary desk and searched the drawers. As she guessed- there is paper and a pen ready for guest’s use. She snagged the materials and started to write a long-awaited letter to her father.

'Dear papa, 

It’s happening! I have a contract being written up with the Hidden Rain Village! You read that right, I got it! You wouldn’t believe how I ended up in this town! I had this moron try to mug me and crazily enough my attempted mugger turned out to be my travel partner here! –‘

She left out the part about him being a missing-nin and the attempted assassination. Her father wouldn’t want to hear about how a squad of shinobi and a herd of bison tried to kill her. He also isn’t nearly as open minded as his daughter and would most likely lose his mind if he knew Hansuke was a rogue shinobi. Muteki regularly left such frightening details out of her letters to home. Her family’s nerves can’t handle much more of her escapades…Her nerves can’t either, but she can at least spare theirs.

‘-It was as crazy as it sounds but he is a pretty cool guy. He was just trying to survive so I can’t find myself holding it against him and I hope you won’t either. Actually, I think he may end up being my first friend here. But yea, I found a village and I can’t wait to show them what I can do! Speaking about what I can do- I learned some fuinjutsu integration techniques throughout my travels. Before you get on my case, I really think it’s going to upgrade my weapons. I get you’re all about tradition, but I can’t wait to try some new designs and make something unique. Even if that means using those untraditional techniques you hate. Sorry, you know I love you. 

How has it been back home? Is everyone doing ok? Did Shun decide to go to the academy or is he picking up the family craft? Is Yuuma and that wife of his still together or has he finally pulled his head out of his ass? 

I hope to hear from you soon! 

Love, Muteki.'

She folded the letter up and stored it in her bag. Muteki will wait until she has an address before sending it out. The weaponsmith was about to mention the Reiji incident but yet again decided against it. Muteki just wants her father to be happy and not panicking over his daughter’s constant near-death experiences her ‘condition’ bestows.

‘I’m surprised it didn’t attack Reiji earlier. I know it helps to have no ill intent, but the curse even attacked my DAD. Thing is so finicky, can’t read what it will do next…’ 

She has tried and failed to stick rules to the curse. It’s an everchanging force of nature that’s as stable as an earthquake. Trying to keep this a secret will be ‘interesting’ but If Muteki stays out of trouble she’ll probably get by. They managed to hide it from the Leaf Village fairly well. Her cousin doesn’t even know about it and those who did discover her secret weren’t believed for obvious reasons. ‘Oh, a girl ‘blessed’ with luck that makes her untouchable? Suuuurreee.’ Only those who have seen it can believe of its existence which has helped her entire family immensely. Specifically, her father- who outright refuses to tell her why he is afraid of her curse becoming public knowledge. The only reason he ever gave was ‘there’s someone in the village’ he didn’t trust and left it there. He NEVER would go into further detail so Muteki and her brother let him be. It was also a huge reason her father didn’t give Muteki the option of becoming a shinobi like her brother. He feared what would have came out of it. When she was a young girl this had frustrated her but now? She is grateful since she genuinely loves her practice. Thinking about her job got her excited all over again. 

‘The second I sign this damn piece of paper is the second I’ll obliterate every last Village that turned me down. They’ll regret the day they passed up the chance to sign a contract. I’ll make sure they do! None of their weaponsmiths can hold a candle to me. Not a single one! Morons, every last one of them including the Kages!’ Is she being cocky? Totally! But it’s well-earned confidence. She worked and studied weapon making since she was able to walk. All of that preparation just for this moment. This is her chance to finally outshine the opposing village’s smiths, her father’s legacy, and her ‘luck’.

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The next morning

Muteki woke up and found a new piece of paper on her desk. As she had hoped, it’s the contract. The smith searched and read every single word printed across the sheet. Making sure that all of her demands were met, and the village didn’t try to pull a fast one using some fancy wording or what have you. Their T’s were crossed, and their I’s are dotted. Everything is correct so she confidently signed her name. She smacked the paper back down on the desk and smiled at it. Then her smile turned into a confused frown after her brain caught up with what just happened.

“Kinda creepy that someone came in here while I was asleep. Couldn’t have woken me up or- “Without warning the piece of paper crinkled up on top of the desk. Muteki jumped away and prepared for an attack but instead, she was met by the sight of an origami butterfly forming before her. Once its creation was complete the ‘butterfly’ took flight and managed to slip itself through the window crack. She watched in awe as it flew away towards, she assumed, the littering queen herself God’s angel.

“So…It’s done? That’s all? Shoot it’s such an odd jutsu but you can’t say it isn’t useful. You know now that I’m thinking about it, I don’t recall ever asking her name… Should probably do that the next time I see her. I’m rude but not THAT rude.”

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Outside the Inn

Reiji saw one of Konan’s butterflies leaving the building, but he didn’t think much of it. He’s far too focused on double-checking his little ‘accident’ for Muteki. He had planned it out all night and the blacksmith is doing everything he could to guarantee this trap’s performance is well choreographed. No one can know he had a hand in it so Reiji took extra care making sure it would also be a believable mishap. He isn’t 100% confident that this will be enough to kill her, yet it should dish out a decent maiming- 

‘But if luck is on my side, she won’t take another breath after this. God please, if I can never lay eyes on another member of THAT ACCURSED family- I’ll die happy.’ 

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End file.
